"Dino B"

Sometimes, it is comforting to know that the world does indeed hold a few constants.  It is markedly enjoyable, at times, to be confronted with something static about yourself, something that you begin to think of as inherent in the person that you are.  These foundational traits can be sources of strength during upheavals.  Alternatively, they can be guide-posts by which you can judge your current actions and decisions in an effort to be a more stable and confident version of yourself.  Self-reflection and evaluation, after all, are the basis of a responsible life.

That is why, as part of The Sky is Falling's move, I found going through my old records to be a particularly valuable use of an afternoon (which is why it has naturally taken me approximately six months to capitulate to its inevitability).  In any event, going through the paper-work of young I Heart Palindromes I was struck by two equally significant motifs.

1)  I was a ridiculously smart kid.  This must have been particularly disappointing for my parents to be promised so much and yet, in my young adulthood, be delivered an equities analyst with hedge fund tastes and CFA-dreams.  In all seriousness, I had no idea that there were so many institutions devoted to reminding a grade school, middle school, and high school student how epically brilliant he was.  All of those certificates, plaques, letters and ribbons are now located at a Waste Management facility somewhere outside the city of Chicago (I would like to think Gary, IN for the poetics of it).

2)  I fucking love Dinosaurs.

Exhibit A:  My first known publication.

Much like Sting, there is no need for my full name to be attached to my works of literary genius.  I am glad that I understood the importance of branding at such an early age.  The simple moniker of "Brian" will suffice.  Needless to say, the title A Bear and a Penguin and a Dinosaur is more existential than literal.  I do believe that this could also, very well, be my new band name or potentially the greatest title for a one-man play ever.  The possibilities are really endless, which I am sure was my intention when I crafted it... in first grade.

Exhibit B:  Chapter 1.

You may have to click on the image to enlarge the photo in order to read this masterpiece.  I strongly suggest you do or you will be woefully unprepared for the surprise ending that remains in store.  A few things I would like to note:

a)  I had an early grasp of ecosystems as I have plausibly posited that a bear, a penguin and a dinosaur could only meet at the north pole.  While there are bears (and potentially dinosaurs) at the south pole, there are no penguins and thus such a meeting would be preposterous.  I am fairly certain that most thirty-year-old's that you know are unaware of this fact.  Points to six-year-old I Heart Palindromes, all of those certificates must have been correct -- I showed great promise.

b)  I have shown an uncanny compassion for diversity, clearly breaking down bear/penguin/dinosaur-cism by allowing all three animals to live happily in a single house together; really forward-thinking for 1990.  I was clearly rather brave.  Note that I have also placed a common enemy in the protagonists' midst, an essential to any good moral tale.

c)  I have no idea what the pool in the desert was about, I have a hypothesis that it had something to do with the unfortunate unlikeliness of such an uplifting tale of acceptance and friendship... but my brief analysis does not leave me sufficiently convinced of my six-year-old literary intentions.

Exhibit C:  The End.

What a shocking turn of events.  First, I am struck by my rather early grasp of market dynamics.  I believe I was juxtaposing the intangible value of time with the tangible asset of a clock, which can only measure time.

I would also like to point out that, throughout this entire epic, we have not been given much to go on by way of the other two character's relationship with the dinosaur.  In retrospect, I believe that this may have been too sophisticated a structure for a first grade audience.  I believe that I was trying to leave the dinosaur's presence as somewhat mythical (as dinosaurs always are... until they eat you).  In any event, I don't think that this detracts from the story too terribly.

It's either that or I just fucking loved dinosaurs.  Take that Pulitzer.

Either way, it is good to know that some things never change.

Word,

-I Heart Palindromes