Actuality: if you live in LA, you will run into a lot of people who look mildly familiar and then spend eleven minutes google'ing random combinations of movie titles and ethnicities in an effort to figure out who they were (i.e. black man in that movie who wasn't Denzel Washington).
Today became my personal antithesis to the proof statement above.
I made my way to a biker bar named Neptune's Net to watching the Chicago Blackhawks utterly humiliate the San Jose Flippers (Sharks? not-so-much) in the NHL Western Conference Finals. I will pause and note that the phrase "I made my way to a biker bar" is now an absolutely plausible event in my day... California does odd things to people.
I should note that I have been to this bar for Blackhawks games before with a freind we will call "my only white-sox-fan friend". So, MOWSFF and I made our way up the PCH to secure seats at the bar and leave enough time for the requisite ten minute argument with the bartender about turning the sound for the hockey game on.
There is a realted point to this background; Neptune's Net is a famous brunch destination for Jay "I am not funny" Leno. I have seen Jay Leno at Neptune's before. He is generally ignored by all of the bikers and fawned over by the few tourists that have the guts to park their rented turquoise PT cruiser in the parking lot and enter an establishment that has at least 75 Harley's lined-up in front of it.
In my mind, Jay Leno is not a celebrity. In fact, the first time I ever saw Jay Leno, instead of being excited to see a television personality and asking for an autograph, I spent the next twenty minutes having MOWSFF talking me out of going over to his table to tell him that (while I find the physics behind his facial features to be staggeringly inexplicable, if not hilarious) I think he is likely the least funny person to ever tell a joke. Keep in mind that I grew up in Chicago, with an Eastern European mother. Her family could certainly kill a joke like OJ Simpson could kill... well... people he loved. In the end, I realized that Mr. Leno is probably accustomed to hearing this exact refrain from every single humanbeing that he meets who is under the age of 74. Therefore, I doubt my input would lead to any great epiphany.
Today's trip, however, yielded a more notable encounter. Today I met Yvonne Strahovski. Who?! I am sure you are currently asking. No I did not know her name before today. Instead I started what I am sure was a stunningly enlightening conversation for her (I was a few sodas into the 'Hawks game) by asking 'are you the girl from Chuck'. I should have prefaced this by saying that I watch almost no television that does not involve overweight men talking about Mr. Market. I do, however, watch the TV show Chuck. Hence, I was able to awkwardly converse with an actress about what she does for a living. I'm positive that I was desperately impressive. With all sincereity, I will say that I did elicit a laugh when I blatantly ignored something she said in favor of screaming at a San Jose Dolphins's non-call and proceeded to tell her that The Blackhawks > Celebrity Sighting (I used a hand symbol to demonstrate the inequality). Of course I did. Wow, that hurts a little to see it in text.
Anyhow, that got me thinking that I should begin to record my "celebrity sightings" for the benefit of those of you that live in what we like to call the "fly over states". God I'm so NYC/LA.
Thank goodness my time here is finite.
Without additional delay (in reverse order of "epicness") to-date celebrity sightings:
1) Yvonne Strahovski (aka girl from Chuck) - uneventful and unexciting. It isn't like I met Alf.
2) Ryan Stiles (of who's line is it anyway fame) - I saw him on his way to Vegas via LAX. He had a stand up show in Vegas that weekend. He was incredibly friendly to the numerous people who approached him (he is approximately 7 feet tall so I guess he has become accustomed to not being able to blend in)
3) Bill Connolly - he lives a block away from me on the beach in Santa Monica. I saw him while I was running early on a Saturday. His dog was relieving itself under a sign that said "no dogs allowed on the beach" across from his beach-front home. He smiled and nodded at me. I like that guy.
4) Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker, a show on Bravo) - I would not have known who she was if not for Bookdock but she was filming part of her show at a place in Hermosa Beach where I like to get brunch. She was gracious, though terribly loud. Gay men across the world appear to love this woman, which is ironic when you think about it. I digress.
5) Wesley Snipes... I mean Eddie Griffin (Undercover Brother) - I was at LAX heading to ORD with Boondock (I heart abbreviations) and I encountered Mr. Griffin in the United Red Carpet Club. Boondock is the one who had to break it to me that I was not, indeed, seeing Wesley Snipes. I could have lived with that illusion forever, tragic. Mr. Griffin (as his friends call him) was having a gin and tonic at 10AM while wearing a velour track-suit, a beret, and sunglasses. Corey Hart, eat your "Hart" out.
I just made a Corey Hart pun, I should probably stop.
I will keep you posted if I happen to meet anyone truly notable (i.e. Alf, Tony Danza, Kobe Bryant's 9th girlfriend, etc...)
Current "celebrity" sightings: 5*
-I Heat Palindromes
*yes I omitted Jay Leno intentionally
No comments:
Post a Comment