It's funny how the simple act of clicking down the font-drop down and selecting Veranda stops me in my tracks for a second. Six months on and the emotions are still largely the same, though they're a lot more content to live with themselves than they used to be. It must be that whole sand of time thing; sand-paper of time that is, wearing down the sharp edges with a little more fourth dimensional distance from what you're looking at.
Things are good -- except the things that aren't, of course. Those are important though, so they can be however they'd like to be. It's a little like attempting to separate the concept of consciousness when studying Kant in a college philosophy course. I loved college philosophy. At least the classes where you had already weeded out the kids that started answers with something moronic like "I feel like...". The logician's obstacle course was more fun for me than most; I appreciated that -- being at home.
Just came back quickly today for a little free write I suppose. A lot of things clouding my never empty head. No one reads this space any more. That's ok.
A little while back the sun of epiphany burned of a little of that Santa Monica marine layer that was making it hard to see the Pacific through the sea of plaid. Something like that. Most things got much better with that sense of effortless momentum you felt when you took those first few solo rides on your bicycle sans-training wheels. Like the safety net itself had been a hindrance to your real down-hill speed abilities. Mom was still ready with band-aids though. You know your knees have scars from it.
Neither here nor there. I've figured a lot of it out. Some things still hurt -- most don't. Honesty and forgiveness are two uniquely wonderful human traits. There is a lot of faith involved when you think they're in the room. They never announce themselves when they leave you know. Call me naive but I believe it when she says they're here. The rest of it is all such a distraction. That can be dumb -- I never aspired to be smart.
One thing I am very happy to still know: I am very much in love.
I have a feeling I'll be back soon.
-I Heart Palindromes
patience, forgiveness,
Irish pride. Now, why would I
settle for any less?
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