On a scale from One to Awesome...

... That was totally Tony Danza.  If you have to ask me which extremis of the scale that Mr. Danza falls at, we are no longer inter-web acquaintances.

We all know that all Californians have a number of inalienable loves:

1)  Running or riding their bike along the ocean
2)  Being mellow, especially in situations that call for excessive amounts of alarm
3)  Inexplicable sources and aggregate amounts of income
4)  T-shirts

Well, you can add another thing to that list:  "shopping malls" near the ocean.

You may have noticed that I placed the shopping malls in mocking air quotations.  This is because I grew up in the real world (Chicago) where the concept of a mall was inseparable from teen angst, bad perfume, overweight mall cops, and food courts that made you question if OSHA really had any power or oversight.  Not out here in Santa Monica, the above article references a monstrosity that currently resides approximately twenty-five feet away from my toaster (yes, note that the immovable quarter-of-a-billion-dollar structure resides in reference to me and my belongings... I was here first dammit).

In any event, malls out here evidently include views of the ocean, valet parking, five star restaurants and... a billion people.  For the past two days the police have blocked off the alley that serves as the only entrance to my parking garage in an effort to stop... well... me from every actually arriving at home, as far as I can tell.  What was that?  Someone from southern CA complaining about traffic?  Unpossible.  In all seriousness though, every intersection within a mile radius of my apartment resembles that to the right.  I thought I had escaped this madness when I moved off of Michigan Ave.  Evidently I was just trading in white-tennis-shoes for flip-flops and converse.

Word.

Los Angeles:  5,381 -- I Heart Palindromes:  0

Kirs Kross Gonna' Make Ya' Make Ya'

-I Heart Palindromes